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Crap presenter
for some strange reason adored by the Beeb. |
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Q. How many DJs does it take to present a single program? A. About 4 if Zoe Ball is anything to go by. By now Ms. Ball
is languishing as a celebrity wife down Brighton way, but lets
not forget the three talentless DJ wannabes that had to attempt
to prop up her fairly shoddy attempts at hosting the Breakfast
Show. `Ginna` `Zoe A` I wouldn`t trust those three fuckwits to serve me a Happy Meal.
I was fairly relieved to find out that Zoe B. was off to pastures new, thank the sweet lord of fuck, we wont have to endure the following anymore: Zoe saying `Ah Bless…` after any remotely pleasant item.Zoe harping on about her inability to get knocked up. Here`s a clue love, maybe it`s Norman's intake of non-prescribed medicinals that are snuffing his swimmers. Zoe singing over records – truly nauseating, unfunny and irritating. Zoe's whole irritating `excited shouty child` demeanor, just what you need first thing in the morning. Zoe doing an article in Heat saying how depressed she is/was. You were earning a fortune doing essentially a quarter of a job. Don`t talk about depression when there are people working much harder than you and getting paid far, far less. Of course, if I
hate the program so much then I could always not listen to it
, but as an armchair socio-anthropologist I do like to keep
myself up to date with quite how far the human condition has
declined and how better than with Lady Quarter of a Job, and
her three brown-nosing muskateers called Will, Ginner and Zoe
A. |
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Have you seen what Zoe Ball and twatboy Slim have called their
first born? Woody, for fucks sake, they must really hate the kid. Fancy naming your pride and joy after a boner? Here are some suitable alternatives. Stiffy Stonker Hard on Boner Morning Glory etc. I just hope that bitch doesn't get on T.V or Radio soon. I have no desire to here her spouting how she got "woken up by a woody in the middle of the night". |
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| Obtain
the archives from the BBC of her Breakfast Show, lock her in a
room without a window, and make her listen from the very first to the very last show. I think you'll find she will take her own life to her shallow grave. (probably within 30 mins). |
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He not only a bland ex-Radio One disc jockey but also a nasty,
mean, money-grabbing conman. In fact there is no-one meaner in the world of showbiz than Bruno Brookes. He even, famously, got his guests to pay for their own drinks from his bar at his own birthday party at Radio One. He is also an alcoholic, paranoid, suspicious, woman-beating coward who hides behind the pretence of ex-BBC blandness to forward a career in ripping people off and feathering his own nest with proceeds from advertising on the not-even-listened-to streaming radio station StormLive, while not so secretly boozing every spare moment. Having lost his driving license for drunk driving he has to get his long suffering wife (who only married him for his money so its her own fault) to take him to his ripoff Radio School and his other business meetings everyday. He only married her because she looked like the great love of his life Anthea Turner who is equally as bland and irritating but still didn't deserve to be beaten up every day of their relationship by this deformed, ugly, has-been dwarf. |
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Voted for by Nobby |
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Loud, untalented, unfunny, common, irritating "I'm the only famous
person to come from Bolton" attitude. Worse than Zoe Ball, plays on the fact that her cohost Rajesh is Asian and she's so P.C she can take the piss, cos it's cool. Perfect tits for telly,(Can't fault you on that one! SpleeN! Ed.) fucking awful voice. (The staff here at SpleeN! are starting to suspect that Gareth possibly has 'issues' when it comes to Radio One Breakfast Show presenters, following his earlier outburst regarding Zoe Ball. SpleeN! does, however, seriously doubt that Sara 'Professional Northerner` Cox could ever be worse than Zoe Ball... |
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| She
talks complete and utter shit. She has the most annoying little crap phrases. I do not know one person who listens to her show or likes her, so radio should tell her to fuck off and die a slow death. I'd still shag her though |
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Legendary
Rhodesian Freedom Fighter Jaapi
Botha forwarded us a copy of the mail he sent to Sara and
her boss, following her '100 most beautiful women' debacle. Sara, I can't believe
that you have the conceit to ask people to vote you in to You are not
beautiful. You look as though you need a good wash. You don't
I don't want
you to assume that the tone of this e:mail is threatening. I
Take this e:mail
as a vote, a vote for The most conceited professional Think about
what I have said, people can be ugly in spirit as well as in
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| Every
bloody mornin', "Hi Ya! Coxy Here!" "Went to a
party last night, It were great!" Drives me flamin barmy! How the hell she managed to blag a job on Radio 1 when she isn't even suitable to work in flamin' McDonalds is beyond me! Shes enough to make me want to retune my radio to Terry Wogan! Surely thats a good enough reason? |
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| Because
she's a mindless, self-indulgent, <libel snip>-addled
media whore. Shut the fuck up, you superficial monument of mediocrity! Why would I give a fuck what conspicuously fashionable celebrity parties you and your cocksmoker mates have been to? This is what really pisses me off about Radio 1 DJs... why should we pay for the privilege of what is essentially listening into someone else's conversation? CUNTS!!! |
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| Even
when I avoid breakfast radio like the plague, I still can't manage
escape this letcherous waste of carbon. Her life's mission seems to be telling people the lurid details of her fabricated social life and her rancid personal habits- all on air at exactly the time when children being driven to school are likely to hear her on the radio. Of course, everyone's already assumed that she's rammed anything the right shape into her reeking cunt without provocation; nobody needs to hear her babbling inanely about it when they've just woken up! If Cox wasn't allowed to get away with her leering drivel, especially with fellow cunts such as Zoe Ball, she wouldn't be worth shit on air. After all, DJs like her have only two settings: "I'm right mad, me," and "Phwoaaar, look at the size of them melons," And if this wasn't bad enough, she's in nearly all of the papers because she can't learn her fucking lesson. (Luckily I don't read the Daily Mail, so my mind hasn't been totally poisoned yet,) |
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| Sara
Cox!! Fucking hell, don't get me started!! What a talentless,
boring, self - oppionated, waster she is. Look, I've got no problem with radio one dj's or indeed dj's in general, for fuck sake i'm a dj myself! But what on earth were radio one thinking when they offered the job as morning 'presenter' with the voice of a Grimsby fish market woman to wake up the nation,pleeeease!!!!! My idea of a radio dj seems to exceed the expectations that radio one have for their own staff, i.e the ability to speak fucking English! It's clear that Sara Cox must have <libel snip> an awful lot of poeple to get where she is today because any other talent she may have is plainly hidden from view. She's a parasite earning an over inflated salary making programmes for equally smacked out brain dead students (no generalisation to students intended). Fuck her off Please. |
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| Piss off you dirty slag. We're sick of your common brand of DJ-ing. | |
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| Yes
another Radio One Presenter. What is it with the BBC? We've got a winning formula,? lets duplicate it. Irritating, egotistical ugly self centered bastard + 3 sycophantic, brown nosing ego caressers = Successful radio show. I think not. Chris Moyles is a fat unfunny piece of shit, his wanky student like buffers are as equally fucking irritating. Moyles is a no-mark from Stoke on Trent (famous for pottery and it's local regiment of cannon fodder "the pineapple chunkies", blown to smithereens in most wars, which I think would have been a better career path for that fat gobshite). I hope you see this Moyles, I tell you what, I'll take you, Melinda and the wittily titled "Comedy Dave" on, the lot of you. I'll hit you with that many lefts you'll be begging for a right. Gareth was keen to also point out: "I wouldn't want to give the impression that I have a deep rooted problem with radio 1 DJ's. I don't, I think Tarrant and Chris Evans are a pair of twats. Especially Tarrant 'are you sure, final answer, you can phone a friend' - No wonder he can sit there smug as fuck, he's got fucking Millions and probably got to poke Sally James." |
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| What
a fat talentless cunt. He makes even other Radio One D.J's seem to have a knowledge of music he's that crap! Being ugly, rude to people and having a bad attitude is nothing new, Simon Mayo was doing it years ago. Hey Chris, if you want to be "radical" why not play some Gary Numan or Heavy Metal you fat, talentless, ugly poof. |
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| If
you ever bothered to look in the dictionary for the definition
of Chris "I'm so Funny" Moyles, the words fat, pointless, talentless and wanker would be amongst those describing this pathetic piece of shit. He thinks he's Mark and Lard but funnier, with 'comedy' Dave, who for the record has never said anything comedic in his life, as his trusty sidekick. Moyles' philosophy on humour goes something like this: 'If I shout it loud enough or repeat it enough times it will be funny.' This mantra is one employed by many Radio 1 staff (Cox, Ball, Dreem Teem etc) but Moyles actually believes he's funny. The self-titled 'saviour of Radio 1' shows how much this egotistical bear crossed with a shit hybrid believes in himself. I notice from the e-mail he sent to SpleeN!, he believes he does intelligent humour, what is so fucking intelligent about making fun of a caller and cutting them off, laugh I nearly cried. So come on Moyles you fat fuck, me and you I'll give you a dose of your 'intelligent humour' I'll rip your fucking spleen out with rusty blunt knife and watch you squeal like a pig. |
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| Chris
Moyles thinks he is the 'saviour' of radio one. How sadly deluded
this fat, miserable, boring gimp is. He was severely bullied at school and so thinks he is sticking two fingers up at all the sensible kids who gave him a hard time. Fuck off our air waves you twat - you're not funny or interesting. He isn't funny. He over-rates himself. He's ugly. He's fat. He's rude. He shaves his back. He's a dj. He makes me feel sick. He pollutes the air waves. I can't go on. Just put this on please I've done four on this hateful twat already. |
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| Self-obsessed
whinger who doesn't entertain, simply bores his way through the
afternoon!!! Never mind the saviour of radio 1, get him off the
airwaves pronto. Fooking rude, arrogant dickhead |
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| Chris
fucking Moyles, the man that makes Dave Lee Travis look like Howard
Stern. When a whore like Chris Evans praises you, it's time to rethink your career. But when Chris Evans said "Chris Moyles is the new Me", this fat talent-void should have done the decent thing and gone to work in a shoe shop, where his duties for those that paid his fucking wages would have at least placed his face closer to one's foot for easier administration of boot to mouth. This fat fuck seems to have somehow convinced Radio 1's controller that he should have a job at the public's expense. Trouble is, being 'the new Chris Evans' means surrounding yourself with sycophants and arse-lickers; displaying naked contempt for your public and trying to pass off bad abuse and dead air as some kind of cutting-edge spontaneous radio; talking yourself up as a footie/pissup/lapdancers loving New Lad (TM) (even as the wheels fall off that sad fucking bandwagon for nice middle-class boys playing at being working-class stereotypes); not playing records because you love the sound of your own fucking voice sooooo much; and then talking/making 'funny' noises over the records you DO play. As if the shit-eating tired pisshead laddette one-jokeism of Sara Cox wasn't bad enough in the morning, we have to suffer this cunt during the most tedious period of the working day. I might voluntarily listen to a whole Chris Moyles show if there was the absolute certainty that at some random point in the programme the cunting cunt and his cosy clique were all shot in the stomach with mercury-filled hollow points. |
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| The man who made me switch radio stations and force me to listen to the utterly repetive Virgin. | ||||
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Ah,
the self-appointed saviour of Radio One. My silver ringpiece.
What we actually have here is the biggest cunt on the airwaves (in both senses of the word, despite what he claims about losing weight, the fat fuck). To be fair to the useless talentless shit-for-brains, he must have had pretty strong arms to climb out of his abortion bucket, but I'm afraid that's where his talents end. Anyone who seems to model his style on the so-called 'shock jocks' off of the radio in America is obviously missing one small detail. They're a complete bag of shite, and we don't want to hear bollocks like that in our nice country, thanks very much. Something else we don't want to hear is any crap out of the mouth of this dickhead who claims to be from Leeds and be a die-hard supporter of LUFC, but seems to be lacking any kind of Yorkshire accent. What the fuck is that about? Support your local team, you glory hunting cunt (even if that forces me to support Middlesbrough, never mind!). But I digress. My main beef with this pathetic man mountain is his non stop self-aggrandisement (now there's a phrase you don't see every day!) and his complete lack of humour, no matter what he himself believes. You get the distinct impression that when he describes himself as the saviour of Radio 1, he means it. Fucking loser, without Mark and Lard, Radio 1 may as well have closed down ten years ago, they're the only people on the station with any reason to be allowed to survive. My second problem with this Greenpeace-protected gobshite is one that hasn't gone unnoticed by the other good people who've posted entries on this site agreeing with me. His arse licking, ego massaging lackeys 'Comedy' Dave (who, although I've been forced to listen to this shit at work for four years, has not once said anything funny) and the 'producer' Will (who is simply a cunt). All their jobs seem to be is to tell the bastard Moyles how great he is and pander to his every whim. Sycophantic slags. He's also a two faced son of a bitch. The email elsewhere on the site details him slagging off The Office creator Ricky Gervais before he was the household name he now is. However, now that Reading’s favourite son is the best known comedy writer in the country, Big Chris is now a massive fan of his work. You make me fucking sick , Moyles, you hypocrite, you need seriously fucking up. No-one I can think of is more deserving of a shallow grave out in the woods. |
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| Christ
have you seen this twat's guest book on his web site- it's good
to see his fans are easy pickings- with their, "Oooh Chris,
you're da man" and "Chris is da tops, you should be
king" style comments. I do feel a bit guilty about hating someone so obviously disabled in the talent department, but fuck him - This shit gets pumped into our office every day. Can never remember finding anything he has ever said interesting or funny, even by accident. |
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> -----Original Message----- > From: spleen@spleenvent.org.uk [SMTP:spleen@spleenvent.org.uk] > Sent: Wednesday, October 04, 2000 3:16 PM > To: chris.moyles@bbc.co.uk > Subject: Ricky Gervais > > Moyles, > > So once again you're criticising Ricky Gervais. > > The implication that Ricky is talentless is exactly what I'd expect from you. > After all you are in such a perfect position to criticise, what with your hugely successful TV show. > Wait a minute, I`m confusing you with another Moyles, aren't I, wasn't your show that tired load of shite that was on UK Play? > It was, wasn't it? > >It smacks of schoolboy jealousy, these little digs you keep having at Gervais; what's the matter, angry that yet another genuinely funny and original comic has a terrestrial TV show before you? > > At least with Gervais we don't have to put up with pathetically sycophantic interviews with Mel C, Mel B or that Beckham bitch. > Take a step back Chris and try and see what a sad little kiss-ass you've become. > > You were funny once, now you just sound like a spoilt brat. > > Allan
From: "Chris Moyles" To: "'spleen@spleenvent.org.uk'" Subject: RE: Ricky Gervais Date: 5 Oct 2000 17:00:46 GMT Oh dear. Touch a nerve did I? The fact that I don't have "hugely successful TV show" means nothing my friend. I don't like Tina Turner, and I can criticise her as much as I want, despite not having a hugely successful record contract. Besides, where's Gervais' hugely successful TV show? Go away you fool and feel free to listen to something else. The show is aimed at listeners with a sense of humour and who are reasonably intelligent. I won't take offence if you don't fit in to that category.
To: "Chris Moyles" Subject: RE: Ricky Gervais Date: 13 Nov 2036 17:41:18 GMT Dear Chris, Many thanks for your prompt and articulate reply to my original e-mail. >Oh dear. Touch a nerve did I? I guess you did, it must have been that knee-jerk nerve that doesn't like a media kiss-ass spouting off like a petulant child. >The fact that I don't have "hugely successful TV show" means nothing my >friend. I don't like Tina Turner, and I can criticise her as much as I want, >despite not having a hugely successful record contract. Of course Chris, that's what freedom of speech is all about and I applaud your efforts to defend your corner - well done! >Besides, where's Gervais' hugely successful TV show? If you care to re-read the original e-mail Chris, then you`ll see that I don't actually claim that Gervais' show is 'hugely successful' - I was merely pointing out that *your* attempt at a TV show wasn't. I believe the technique I was employing to prove this point was 'sarcasm'. For additional information have a look in a dictionary under 'S', it's usually found between 'Saracen' and 'Sarcoma'. >Go away you fool and feel free to listen to something else. The show is >aimed at listeners with a sense of humour and who are reasonably >intelligent. I won't take offence if you don't fit in to that category. Bravo Chris! Sneaking in a crafty insult at the end - nice, but a bit predictable. So, I`m a 'fool' - well I think that's a bit harsh isn't it? I speak my mind about your afternoon antics and have the audacity to criticise you and suddenly I`m a 'fool'? Maybe the real fool is the one who sucks up to guests on his show and painfully plugs CDs as he ambles along in front of an audience of millions? >The show is aimed at...blah, blah, blah I won't take offence either Chris! It's obvious to both of us that my sophisticated sense of humour and above average intelligence may not be suited to listening to your show, but I think I can put up with a bit more 'intellectual slumming', just to keep in touch with 'the lowest common denominator'. I eagerly await your reply. Allan. Footnote: We are still awaiting a reply from Moyles... |
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Gawd knows how these retards got nominated for some DJ award recently. Thankfully there is still some justice in the world as the inimitable Mark and Lard won out in the end. My problem with
the Dr**m T**m is (see I can barely bring myself to address
them by their chosen name) that not only do they plug and
promote one of the most repellant forms of music imaginable
ie; UK Garage but they are the worst radio DJ's i've ever
had the misfortune to endure. My only hope is that like Westwood, these fuckers also get a bullet, a fatal one.
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You might think
that there are people in the world far more deserving of the
ire and bile of a righteously wound-up punter? WRONG. |
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| Y'know,
I think someone at the BBC is trying to pass off this vapid
tosser as the New Annie Nightingale. More like Gary Davies for
the 00's. If you want endless rambling bullshit interspersed
with uninteresting anecdotes about herself and programmed enthusiasm
for the latest identikit ugly/tats/facial piercings/wooly hats
Yank rap-metal kiddies, Jo's your girl! Should be strapped to a chair beneath a horse, the better to enjoy a torrential blast of hot piss, directed facewards. |
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Right, yeah.
What a cheese nobhood. Is he a DJ? Why then does he play the same 6 records every night on R1? Why does he play Ronan Keeting records and Hear Say and Steps and bands for children. Why? because no one else would lower their standards to that sheeeite and pretend to like it. 'Same shit every
night' Dave. Love Groove Dance Party Wicked Tunes Roll Another
Fat Cunt Off to Ibiza 0898 100 100 100 Keep Them Coming In.
Maybe if he 'Danced' at some of his 'wicked' dance parties then you wouldn't be such a fat cunt. I really fuckin object to licence payers money being spent on sending this mediocre sausage fingered blob out to Ibiza every two fucking minutes to play a set of boring rave standards to about eight of his mates round a swimming pool. Better still
Radio 1 - why not spend even more of our cash organising a
huge 'not going to fuckin happen ever' love suck party slap
bang in the middle of Newcastle and then cancel at the last
minute and act surprised. Back to Pea Arse. |
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| Dave
Pearce? Oh I remember you, you fat, Jonathan King's uglier brother, sweaty prat-voiced little turd...from Kiss FM years ago..doing your little drivetime pop show with some simpering bitch responding to your witless drivel.. Ooh now your a top DJ..Largin' it in Ibiza with skintight faded jeans wrapped round your fat arse, a pair of gleeming new Reebok classics, the baseball cap and crooked smile of a man devoid of all fashion sense.. If I was at a club and I saw someone like you trying to get behind the decks I'd call security. Take him out of circulation NOW! |
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This is probably my own fault for listening to Radio 2 however, nobody but nobody should be subjected to this quarter wit waffling on about "Kennedy Towers" or the first thing that comes into her peanut sized brain. Ex game for a laugh host, she cannot even string two words together without mis-prouncing, fumbling or completely fucking up the entire sentence. Never has anyone been so unhindered by Talent as this fat bloater.
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Ohoho Top of
de moarnin! |
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Most people who
read this will probably not have heard of them. |
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I was only inspired
when I read your early comments regarding the Dreem Team and
how they were rightfully defeated by the "inimitable"
Mark and Lard, I was confused, I doubted my English I even
had to look up the word again just to make sure and damn it
it was exactly what I thought it meant: YOU HAVE TO FUCKING
JOKING!! Anyone who put these two Manc TWATS on the air needs
to have their arseholes forcibly opened and the contents within
removed with a Vax (TM) cleaner, minced and then feed back
to them with some crushed glass-hundreds and thousands in
a Mr-Internal-Organ-Whippy "stylee" (to use one
of Marks favourite words) I could go on but I probably shouldn't.
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Steve Wright |
| Does
anyone else get the feeling that Steve Wright believes himself
to be a hard lined, hard hitting interview journalist. All that bastad does is sucks up the arses of anyone who goes on that show. "you are looking great", "how do you get so successful"....every time it makes me groan....everytime he interview he does it.....bastard...and that old woman gets on me thrupennies as well... |
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| This
fat, ugly, useless, massive-nosed tosser is probably the most
sycophantic cunt I've ever had the misfortune to hear, with
the possible exception of Chris Moyles' personal ego-massaging
team. Whenever he has a celebrity guest on his excuse for a radio program (which is a load of fucking jitler, by the way, don't waste your fucking time), all he does for the entire time they're on is to suck up to them and tell them how great they are. It's disgusting, it's embarrassing and almost enough to make you physically sick. And that motherfucking moustache as well, Christ on a bike, what the fuck is he thinking? Doesn't he realise how incredibly ugly he is already? With that 'tasche, though, it almost defies all reason. As if this wasn't bad enough, there's the small matter of the cunt's voice. Now, sorry to remind you of this Steve, but you're English, not a bastard American, so you can drop that fake Mid-Atlantic twang that you seem to have adopted and talk properly, or God help me, my patience will eventually run out, and I'll be forced to seriously fuck you up. Is it just me or is that accent he's picked up for himself one of the most annoying things in history? Anyway, this bastard deserves nothing less than to end up in the shallow grave that I'm nominating him for, and I'd be more than happy to send the bastard there. Oh yeah, and the other presenters who help him out on his poxy little Mickey Mouse radio show are all a bunch of arse-licking little cunts as well, and as far as I'm concerned, they can all fuck off to the well deserved premature death that is heading their way. |
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Disco Dan |
| I
fucking hate this man and what a fucking name "DISCO DAN"
the soft cunt even changed his real name by deedpoll to this,
is he fucking stupid or what?, I would just love to be a fly
on the wall if he ever gets pulled by the plod for anything. This guy is such a fucking loser he got his job on Radio City 96.7 by <libel snip> and acting like a twat advertising himself on a building accross the road from the radio station, I mean how desperate is that. The guy could'nt even hack it on weekend breakfast with fat twat hurst and <libel snip>, I actually think this nob head should be strung up in the middle of Williamson square (Liverpool town centre) and birched, He just fucking grips my shit so much. I would take great pleasure in just giving him the hiding of his life, to see the fat cunt in action just go to Garlands on a Saturday night. Do me a favour Spleen and Assasinate the fucker (preferably with a single shot to the head with a high powered snipers rifle from a tall building, all the better off the top of the Radio City tower in Liverpool. |
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Tim Westwood |
| I'm
suprised this great pioneer of hip hop hasn't been nominated
yet. He wants to be black gangster rapper so badly he probably arranged his own shooting just to look 'street'. It could have been black gangsters who just hate him trying to be one of them, or just someone with a keen eye for a prize twat. Either way, well done! Better luck next time! I'll even put up the money. |
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| This
is Tim Westwood coming to you from the EAST-SIYYYDE! The Eastside?
The Eastside of fucking where? Probably the eastside of Middlesex
where this Middle-England wannabe bad-boy twat comes from. Westwood, a word of warning, you are not black, you are not a gang member from Compton, but with any luck you'll go out the same way as a gang member from Compton...with a big piece of muthafuckin' lead in yo skull! |
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Radio Wolf |
| We
people in the Black Country get a bad name from people like
the braindead cunts who present the Wolf radio. I know that the Black Country accent is THE worst accent in the world, even though I have got one myself. So whoever thought it would be a good idea to let people with really pronounced BC accents onto the airwaves needs burying alive. These cunts play fuck all except songs like 'You make me feel like dancing' by pubic head Leo Sayer and they think that the Midlands, more accurately, Wolverhampton, is the epicentre of the world. Fuck me. |
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Nicky Horne |
| The
legendary slight charisma of this smug, complacent piece of
dawg shite was buried, eons ago, under his gargantuan ego ..yes
folks he is wrinkled as his fcking on-air style. This annoying piss spray was once heard to diss the sublime saxophone on Curtis Mayfield's "Little Child" as "The worst piece of saxophone playing ever." Had I a saxophone, or any instrument for that matter, and stood within breathing distance of this turd I would have truly shoved it up his alleyway. Years ago this troll used to have a tv slot on a now forgettable London news hour, and how he seemed to enjoy beaming down his big nose to the hapless viewers and with the most condescending of gloats! Thank god he was catapulted back to the hellish capital radio, until resurfacing (to the utter dismay of most right thinking people I am sure and like some gargling, blood sucking radio vampire ) to the ever promising Jazz FM. URRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG. |
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Nemone |
| With
the exception of Mark and Lard who
are great, I fucking hate all DJs, and this deep voiced man/woman
is no exception. For a start, what kind of a name is Nemone anyway? Short for sea anemone (a slimy jellyfish-type thing, very fitting) probably. The stupid bitch. Anyway, I just fucking hate her with her deep voice, hairy chest any very mannish matey ways with any sap unfortunate enough to be a caller on her piss poor program, if you can find out when it is. You see, even the top brass at Radio 1 obviously think she's a sack of shite, so she gets juggled around the schudules to fill in for 'proper' DJs when they're away. Similar to Scott fucking Mills, then, though to be fair, at least she doesn't continually bang on about how great it is to be gay (fuck off, Mills, no-one cares). She still deserves a painful death, though, how about being forced to listen to her own program on a constant loop, she'd kill herself within hours, fucking magic. |
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Scott Mills |
| Jesus
fucking wept. I thought Chris Moyles was the biggest twat ever to appear on Radio 1. And then I heard this cunt. He is probably the most irritating 'man' ever to be born in this country. His voice, his mannerisms, his near-jisming whenever he mentions that bag of shite band Coldplay (don't get me started on them!), he just irritates the living fuck out of me. And then there's his 'hilarious' feature, Gay Bar. The only reason you have a feature about a gay bar, Scott, is to draw attention away from your own latent <libel snip Spleen! Ed.>, or at least, the fact of Moyles is giving you a <libel snip Spleen! Ed.>. The best solution for everyone would be for you to fuck off to your own gay bar, and I could burn the cunt down with you inside of it. |
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Mike Dickin & Mike Parry |
| These
two sons of bitches (for those millions fortunate enough not
to know) are arsehole shit-speakers from that pit of bollocks
otherwise known as Talksport (who's boast is that they are the
biggest commercial radio station in Britain, which is a bit
like boasting about being the biggest wart on someone's bell
end). Their job, as far as I can determine, is to spout out deliberately controversial material in the hope of gaining a reaction from the public. I mainly hate Mike Parry, because he's a fat Scouser with a beard, but Dickin uses the same tricks, and the sad thing is that it works, because it makes me fucking livid. Unfortunately for them, my reaction is less likely to be to call them up and argue with them about it on air, thus improving their all-important ratings, but to wait by their car with a garotte, and do the country as a whole a great service. It's not that they offend me (that isn't possible, I'm delighted to say, no topic is off limits for me), it's just that I can see straight through their transparently cynical tricks, and it's just pathetic that grown men have to resort to such tactics to be noticed. If you have extreme opinions, that's fine (I know that I do), but to use them to try and upset people and so gain notoriety is just sad. Get a life, you pair of cunts, before someone decides to end it for you. |
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Radio 1 |
| I've
previously nominated some of the DJs who work for this fine
establishment which we are all forced to pay for whether we
like it or not, but this time I'm tackling the station itself.
With the honourable exception of the superb Mark and Lard, everyone on Radio 1 is a load of fucking wank, and deserves to die a slow and agonising death, such as the immoral use of a decompression chamber, a la 'Men Behind The Sun'. From the top (management) to the very, very bottom (DJs), no-one deserves to escape. Our licence fees fund this giant shit sandwich, yet they insist on playing non-stop manufactured shite like Avril Lavigne and the Sugababes, or just normal fucking shite like the cunt Robbie Williams. I contribute over a hundred pounds a year into their coffers along with everyone else, so I demand some Grindcore or Death Metal that I want to listen too. After all, I've fucking well paid for it. And whilst I'm on, the news on Radio 1 is probably the most banal, patronising load of bollocks I've ever had the misfortune to hear, especially when it's read by that fucking twat Georgina Bowman. I accept that I'm more intelligent than the audience Radio 1 targets (arrogant I know, but true), but I'm not the only one in this situation, so we don't need talking down to, thanks very much you stuck up bastards. The worst thing about this complete load of horse shit is that I've got no choice but to listen to it every day at work, even though I fucking hate it, and it's driving me slowly insane. If you hear on the news in the near future that some maniac has stormed the Radio 1 studios and killed every single person inside, you'll know that I could finally take no more and took the only action I could think of. |
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